DNA v. Needles

We all have the ability to exercise self-control. The problem is, we often don't. At some point, when we have a problem we start asking the question "Why am I like this?" It is tempting to blame others, not taking responsibility for our actions. We do this because we prefer to view ourselves in a positive light. If we admitted that it was our own actions that led to a bad situation, then we must be a bad person.

I don't think so. Everybody makes mistakes that lead to bigger problems than they imagined. But at the same time, how did we get this way, and how can we prevent that same future in our children?

Alcoholism is a temperamental condition. If you never consume alcohol, you will definitely not become an alcoholic. However, the vast majority of people who do consume alcohol never become alcoholics. It is hard to say if a person will become an alcoholic after consumption. If a man takes his first drink on his 21st birthday, and becomes an alcoholic, has children, abuses them, submits his children to a greater likelihood of becoming an alcoholic; should he be held responsible for his children's choices? So a man decides to have a drink. He didn't decide to become addicted. It would hardly be fair to blame him for becoming an addict. It would be fair, however to blame him for staying in addiction because it would then affect his children. It is a moral obligation to seek help once someone realizes they have a problem, especially if they have children.

Quite often, the children of an addict also become addicted. On some level, an addict is responsible for the actions of their child. However, how much of that responsibility falls on the parent? If the cause of the correlation is based in environmental triggers, then it is certainly the fault of the parent. If the correlation comes from genetics, then the children are at a risk for compulsive behaviors already whether or not the parents actually engage in the compulsive behaviors. That, of course, is a centuries-long debate. It is part of the nature vs. nurture dialogue.

That doesn't change the bottom line, though. We set an example for our children. They learn from what we do. They want to be like us from a very young age. If they see mom and dad drinking, they'll pretend to drink when they play house. If they see mom solving all her problems by drinking alcohol, then when they grow up, have their own problems, they are likely to do the same thing. Compulsive behaviors, especially from parents, affect the rest of the family. Children are much more likely to adopt those behaviors. Siblings are affected with their concentration at work and making proper choices.

Compulsive behaviors are just that—behaviors. We can decide what to do with our lives, whether or not we are "genetically pre-disposed" to compulsion. As Dr. Laura Schlessinger says in her blog, "Life situations are largely out of our control, but the decisions we make and the steps we take for responsible action are in our control." If a child is genetically pre-disposed, or in an environment of compulsive behaviors, they still have the decision whether or not to engage in those behaviors. That’s what makes us human.

A teenage mother in Sweden gives birth to twins and gives them up for adoption. The brothers are separated from each other and monitored by the state. Out of a potentially hazardous situation for the children, a research opportunity becomes available. A study using pairs of twins in this exact situation found 6 sets where one of the twins became an alcoholic. In 5 out of the 6 pairs, the co-twin was found to also be an alcoholic. This clearly shows a genetic pre-disposition towards compulsive behaviors. Twins that were never in the same environment were still found to have similar compulsive behaviors.